75 MONTHS
6 years and 3 months ago my life pretty much ended as I had lived and wanted it to be, so for the longest time after the coma I was convinced that my accident was a punishment from God for something I had done and in my mind only cheating on the love of my life, Michele could be a sin that deserves Godly punishment, however after having asked to almost all the women I ever worked with I was told that not only I was never improper but I was also someone who nobody would even think to make jokes to women in my presence.
So having eliminated the idea that my accident was a punishment from God for something I decided that no god exists and I became a real atheist, as such I concluded that my accident was just the bad luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time and everything that has happened after is the expression of qualities and values of those close to me affecting my life.
I started to hate Michele’s lover, in my mind he’s someone who knows very well about brain injury and takes advantage of my tragedy only for personal gains and as such deserves my punishment with his life.
But now that with the new year my Catholic faith is back, mostly for realizing the real existence of Jesus and the worldwide power of the Catholic church I’m thinking that because of the immediate interruption of my leadership in life and that God had nothing to do with preventing my accident or shorten my recovery, it's just the attempt of mankind to humanize God that makes people think that by praying bad things can be avoided or that recovery becomes faster, I'm now convinced that the human brain has the real power to make miracles happen and that real God is the initiator and order-bringer to the universe.
6 years and 3 months ago my life pretty much ended as I had lived and wanted it to be, so for the longest time after the coma I was convinced that my accident was a punishment from God for something I had done and in my mind only cheating on the love of my life, Michele could be a sin that deserves Godly punishment, however after having asked to almost all the women I ever worked with I was told that not only I was never improper but I was also someone who nobody would even think to make jokes to women in my presence.So having eliminated the idea that my accident was a punishment from God for something I decided that no god exists and I became a real atheist, as such I concluded that my accident was just the bad luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time and everything that has happened after is the expression of qualities and values of those close to me affecting my life.
I started to hate Michele’s lover, in my mind he’s someone who knows very well about brain injury and takes advantage of my tragedy only for personal gains and as such deserves my punishment with his life.
But now that with the new year my Catholic faith is back, mostly for realizing the real existence of Jesus and the worldwide power of the Catholic church I’m thinking that because of the immediate interruption of my leadership in life and that God had nothing to do with preventing my accident or shorten my recovery, it's just the attempt of mankind to humanize God that makes people think that by praying bad things can be avoided or that recovery becomes faster, I'm now convinced that the human brain has the real power to make miracles happen and that real God is the initiator and order-bringer to the universe.
A big vacuum was created with my sudden inability to be present and that confused every person who knew me and made them act irrationally and without any hope of my possible recovery.
So what now fills my soul is pity for those who by losing me lost their sense of direction and ability to distinguish right from wrong, 2012 is going to be the year not only of my return to my productive and caring life but also the chance for those who abandoned me to return in my care and thoughts.
So what now fills my soul is pity for those who by losing me lost their sense of direction and ability to distinguish right from wrong, 2012 is going to be the year not only of my return to my productive and caring life but also the chance for those who abandoned me to return in my care and thoughts.
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